Thread: Sad news
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:15 PM
Steve Ellsworth's Avatar
Steve Ellsworth Steve Ellsworth is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Highlands Ranch Colorado
Posts: 784
Default Re: Sad news

Actually it is true
I saw the contract

the new toys will be made of lead painted plastic

the diamond tools will be plated synthetic - guaranteed for the life of the product

the lubricating fluids will be composed of fluoridated water and other hazmat materials

they make it easier to see as your gravers will glow in the dark!

the co2 will be replaced by enormous canisters of methane gas taken straight from the rear ends of the current political administration

for those who don't want the canisters a representative from either party can be rented or bought off for a lesser price and will come equipped with sufficient tubing to allow complete mobility as the individual can follow closely behind you where ever you decide to set up shop

all forms of currency will be accepted except the American dollar which has little to no value on the open market

the tools can be engraved with a picture of the messiah of your choice


for an additional fee

each unit can be custom made with an led emergency light in the nose piece and an emergency radio receiver that never needs batteries. you simply wind up the handle and it will pull in shortwave, am and fm from countless stations world wide broadcasting bogus news reports

you can monitor the decline of the economy (and your income) in real time.

yes folks. don't wait for the disaster to come to you, order yours today.


If you order within the next ten minutes Steve will throw in a copy of his "secrets to engraving success"

This priceless booklet contains a wealth of information like:
how to melt down grandmas silverware to make rings, how to grind off made in china from any knife and remark it for a 4000 percent markup and 15 other useful trade secrets guaranteed to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams

so act now
operators are standing by to take your call
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